You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Distance lends enchantment to the view.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

We do not get ice-cream every where, and so, when we do, we are apt to dissipate to excess.

Independence-is loyalty to one's best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.

If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.