You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals.

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.

In German, a young lady has no sex, but a turnip has

Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out... and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel.... And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man with his mouth.

Custom is, to think a handsome thing in private but tame it down in the utterance.