You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.

A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.

Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!

Denial is much more then an Egyptian River.

The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.

The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.

There are lies, damned lies and statistics.