It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

Virtue has never been as respectable as money.

I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.