I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.

All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.

Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.

Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.

There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.

December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.

I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return