Nevertheless we have this curious spectacle: daily the trained parrot in the pulpit gravely delivers himself of these ironies, which he has acquired at second-hand and adopted without examination, to a trained congregation which accepts them without examination, and neither the speaker nor the hearer laughs at himself. It does seem as if we ought to be humble when we are at a bench-show, and not put on airs of intellectual superiority there.

Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.

Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.

Some people give their problems swimming lessons instead of drowning them.

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.