Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'

Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer

If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!

All right, then, I'll go to hell.

A street in Constantinople is a picture which one ought to see once-not oftener.