I do not want Michael Angelo for breakfast-but for luncheon-for dinner- for tea-for supper-for between meals.

I am only human, although I regret it.

All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so "slow," so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle — keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate.

I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

Some people give their problems swimming lessons instead of drowning them.

There is no security in life, only opportunity.