I do not want Michael Angelo for breakfast-but for luncheon-for dinner- for tea-for supper-for between meals.

It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.

High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water.

If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'

If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing; you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.