It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. "Give them to others"-that's my motto.

Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete; that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.

We were good boys, good Presbyterian boys, and loyal and all that; anyway, we were good Presbyterian boys when the weather was doubtful; when it was fair, we did wander a little from the fold.

The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.

Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress and some would lose all of it.