After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.

[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.

It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.

I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.