The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.

It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. "Give them to others"-that's my motto.

Never mistake motion for progress.

Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.