We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.

First catch your Boer, then kick him.

There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.

Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest, there being no such thing as free will in the composition of any human being that ever lived.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

A sin takes on a new and real terror when there seems a chance that it is going to be found out.

Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.