The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.

When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.

If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.

Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.

It is at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals.

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar