There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2 admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.

I played Chess with him and would have beaten him sometimes only he always took back his last move, and ran the game out differently

I couldn't bear to think about it; and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.

Herschel removed the speckled tent-roof from the world and exposed the immeasurable deeps of space, dim-flecked with fleets of colossal suns sailing their billion-leagued remoteness.

When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.