There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2 admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.

I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Humor is man's greatest blessing.

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.