You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

All gods are better than their reputation.

Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.

A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.

The self taught man seldom knows anything accurately, and he does not know a tenth as much as he could have known if he had worked under teachers, and besides, he brags, and is the means of fooling other thoughtless people into going and doing as he himself has done.

I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.