We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.

Men are more compassionate/(nobler)/magnanimous/generous than God; for men forgive their dead, but God does not.

We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go

France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.

Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.