I told you this would happen. But, no, you had to go for the buffet, didn't you?

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.

There isn't any way to libel the human race.

Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.