I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not mildly, but will all my heart. To me an opera is the very climax & cap-stone of the absurd, the fantastic the unjustifiable. I hate the very name of opera - partly because of the nights of suffering I have endured in its presence, & partly because I want to love it and can't.

The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.

Who are we to create a heaven and hell for ourselves, excluding animals and plants in the bargain, just because we have the power to rationalize?

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

Children have but little charity for one another's defects

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.