isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.

After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.

But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.

I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.

As to the human race. There are many pretty and winning things about the human race. It is perhaps the poorest of all the inventions of all the gods but it has never suspected it once. There is nothing prettier than its naive and complacent appreciation of itself. It comes out frankly and proclaims without bashfulness or any sign of a blush that it is the noblest work of God. It has had a billion opportunities to know better, but all signs fail with this ass. I could say harsh things about it but I cannot bring myself to do it-it is like hitting a child.

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.

There is nothing that saps one's confidence as the knowing how to do a thing