The heart is the real fountain of youth.

Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.

...many foolish persons, wanderers from other parts, have the vain fashion of graving their names and the obscure places whence they come, upon its stones, which is silly and marketh the doer for a fool.

Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.

In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.

The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?