At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.

When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.

I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.

Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.