A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.

Pessimist: The optimist who didn't arrive.

The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monotonously.

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

I thoroughly believe that any man who's got anything worthwhile to say will be heard if he only says it often enough.

...mastery of the art and spirit of the Germanic language enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without changing cars.

It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.