When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

Better a broken promise than none at all.

Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.

Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out... and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel.... And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man with his mouth.

None but the dead are permitted to tell the truth.

The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it seems to me, is the true test of humour. It must be antiseptic.