The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

There isn't any way to libel the human race.

Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. Because honor to party is above honor to themselves.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy; if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.