There isn't any way to libel the human race.

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing and predatory as it is - in our country particularly, and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree - it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime- the invention of Hell.

A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can't travel any way but sideways and backways.

The worst thing you can do to a man is to tell him he can have what he wants.