It were not best that we should all think alike.

Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.

Good judgment comes from experience. And where does experience come from? Experience comes from bad judgment.

Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn

In German, a young lady has no sex, but a turnip has

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.