The worst thing you can do to a man is to tell him he can have what he wants.

There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.

The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say.

Women cannot receive even the most palpably judicious suggestion without arguing it; that is, married women.

A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots.

Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.

All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.