It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.

Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.

The Mississippi River will always have its own way; no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.

The secret of making progress is to get started.

Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.

Comedy keeps the heart sweet.