Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.

To practice NVC, it's critical for me to be able to slow down, take my time, to come from an energy I choose, the one I believe that we were meant to come from, not the one I was programmed into.

The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.

The cause of anger lies in our thinking - in thoughts of blame and judgment.

I recommend allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before turning our attention to solutions or requests for relief. When we proceed too quickly to what people might be requesting, we may not convey our genuine interest in their feelings and needs; instead, they may get the impression that we're in a hurry to either be free of them or to fix their problem. Furthermore, an initial message is often like the tip of an iceberg; it may be followed by yet unexpressed, but related - and often more powerful - feelings.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.

We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.