We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction.

Please do as I requested, only if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck. Please do not do as I request if there is any taint of fear of punishment if you don't. Please do not do as I request to buy my love, that, is hoping that I will love you more if you do. Please do not do as I request if you will feel guilty if you don't. Please do not do as I request if you will feel shameful. And certainly do not do as I request out of any sense of duty or obligation.

Tragically, one of the rarest commodities in our culture is empathy. People are hungry for empathy, They don't know how to ask for it.

When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.

When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you've first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.

If we become skilled in giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy which then enables us to be present with the other person. If this fails to happen, however, we have a couple of other choices.

The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.