What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it's through connection that solutions materialize - empathy before education.

Always listen to what people need rather than what they are thinking about us.

Every message, regardless of form or content, is an expression of a need.

When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met.

What bores the listener bores the speaker too.

As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.