At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.

NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.

Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved.

Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.

Be very slow to go into looking for solutions.

There are the two main reasons we don't get our needs met. First, we don't know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that.

The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.