We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.

Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.

As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.

You're going to lose it when you follow the world "feel" with the words "because I think". Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word "think" with the word "you". I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.

Every message, regardless of form or content, is an expression of a need.

When we are depressed, our thinking blocks us from being aware of our needs, and then being able to take action to meet our needs.

Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.