If you think ahead to what to say next - like how to fix it or make the person feel better - BOOM! Off the board. You're into the future. Empathy requires staying with the energy that's here right now. Not using any technique. Just being present. When I have really connected to this energy, it's like I wasn't there. I call this "watching the magic show". In this presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal anything, and this relieves me from my "fix-it" tendencies.

People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.

A need is life seeking expression within us.

This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately, it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack. It is a language of demands.

Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.

The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.

Every time I mess up is a chance to practice.