It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.

This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. And whenever people feel that they're not free to choose what they want to do, they are likely to resist, even if they see the purpose in what we are asking and would ordinarily want to do it.

When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.

We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction.

All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

When you are in a jackal environment, never give them the power to submit or rebel. We want to teach this to children very early: Never lose track that you are always free to choose. Don't allow institutions to determine what you do.

It's never what people do that makes us angry; it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.