When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving.

When we are depressed, our thinking blocks us from being aware of our needs, and then being able to take action to meet our needs.

Most of us live in a Jackal world where we take turns using the other person as a waste basket for our words.

We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction.

Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.

In these long-standing conflicts, I find that most cases it gets resolved in about twenty minutes after each side can tell me the needs of the other.

We never really know what we want until after we get it. If after we get it, it makes life more miserable, we know that isn't what we wanted. If it makes our life wonderful, we know this is a strategy which will meet out need. That's why Paul Tillich, the theologian says we need to sin courageously. You ask for what you want, hoping to meet your needs. If you get it and it makes life worse, you learn that this isn't what I want.