The more we talk about the past, the less we heal from it.

Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.

Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.

You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had.

This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. And whenever people feel that they're not free to choose what they want to do, they are likely to resist, even if they see the purpose in what we are asking and would ordinarily want to do it.

Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.

We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.