The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel.

I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.

As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.

If we become skilled in giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy which then enables us to be present with the other person. If this fails to happen, however, we have a couple of other choices.

When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.

When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.

We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.