I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.

The intention behind the protective use of force is to prevent injury, never to punish or to cause individuals to suffer, repent or change.

Understanding and connection can transcend conflict.

Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, without any insults, without any put-downs, without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.

I recommend allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before turning our attention to solutions or requests for relief. When we proceed too quickly to what people might be requesting, we may not convey our genuine interest in their feelings and needs; instead, they may get the impression that we're in a hurry to either be free of them or to fix their problem. Furthermore, an initial message is often like the tip of an iceberg; it may be followed by yet unexpressed, but related - and often more powerful - feelings.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.