When we understand the needs that motivate our own and others behavior, we have no enemies.

The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.

To do this, you can bring in nothing from the past. So the more psychology you've studied, the harder it will be to empathize. The more you know the person, the harder it will be to empathize. Diagnoses and past experiences can instantly knock you off the board. This doesn't mean denying the past. Past experiences can stimulate what's alive in this moment. But are you present to what was alive then or what the person is feeling and needing in this moment?

At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.

Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.

Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.

My need is for safety, fun and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. NVC is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs.