I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.

As soon as you say, "are you feeling X because I ..." Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.

Empathy: Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being

Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.

When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you've first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.

Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it.

I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.