NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.

When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values.

If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.

Be very slow to go into looking for solutions.

Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.

I recommend allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before turning our attention to solutions or requests for relief. When we proceed too quickly to what people might be requesting, we may not convey our genuine interest in their feelings and needs; instead, they may get the impression that we're in a hurry to either be free of them or to fix their problem. Furthermore, an initial message is often like the tip of an iceberg; it may be followed by yet unexpressed, but related - and often more powerful - feelings.

We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.