I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.

This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately, it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack. It is a language of demands.

I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.

Get very clear about the kind of world we would like and then start living that way.

Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.

Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.

Behind intimidating messages are simply people appealing to us to meet their needs.