When you ride the wave, the thrill is so exhilarating that you forget everything else. You live in the moment where nothing else matters, so intent on riding the wave perfectly that you and the wave become one. Pain and worry disappear, replaced by euphoria, akin to flow. Similarly, when giving empathy, you want to strive for this kind of total presence for the person you are listening to.

The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.

When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met.

Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.

At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs.

With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.

Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it.