My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.

Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.

When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.

In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.

If people just asked: "Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs?" the conflict would be easy to resolve.

Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.

If we want to be compassionate we must be conscious of the words we use. We must both speak and listen from the heart.