When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.

It's never what people do that makes us angry; it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.

Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.

If we want to be compassionate we must be conscious of the words we use. We must both speak and listen from the heart.

Very often, the way love is defined, it does violence to both people. It almost makes them a slave to the other. For example, if to be in love, or to be married, it means that I'm responsible for the other person's happiness, now we get into this guilt game, where if they're upset, I'm at fault. Soon, that makes the person we are closest to about as much fun to be around as a prolonged dental appointment.

When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity.

I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.