We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.

People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.

As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.

When we judge others we contribute to violence.

I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.

The Chinese philosopher Chuang-Tzu stated that true empathy requires listening with the whole being: The hearing that is only in the ears is one thing. The hearing of the understanding is another. But the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty, to the ear, or to the mind. Hence it demands the emptiness of all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens. There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you that can never be heard with the ear or understood with the mind.

Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.