We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.

When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.

They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.

As radical as it may seem, it is possible to do things only out of play. I believe that to the degree that we engage moment by moment in the playfulness of enriching life- motivated solely by the desire for its enrichment- to that degree are we being compassionate with ourselves.

When you ride the wave, the thrill is so exhilarating that you forget everything else. You live in the moment where nothing else matters, so intent on riding the wave perfectly that you and the wave become one. Pain and worry disappear, replaced by euphoria, akin to flow. Similarly, when giving empathy, you want to strive for this kind of total presence for the person you are listening to.

To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.

Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.