When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you've first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.

The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.

They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.

We never really know what we want until after we get it. If after we get it, it makes life more miserable, we know that isn't what we wanted. If it makes our life wonderful, we know this is a strategy which will meet out need. That's why Paul Tillich, the theologian says we need to sin courageously. You ask for what you want, hoping to meet your needs. If you get it and it makes life worse, you learn that this isn't what I want.

If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.

Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.