All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.

Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.

When we make mistakes, we can use the process of NVC mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where we can grow instead of getting caught up in moralistic self-judgments.

At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.

We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.

Anger tells us we've disconnected from life. The purpose in anger is to use it to come back to life.

I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.