Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.

Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.

Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.

I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.

We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.

People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.

You're going to lose it when you follow the world "feel" with the words "because I think". Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word "think" with the word "you". I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.