Always listen to what people need rather than what they are thinking about us.

Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.

Thinking based on who deserves what blocks compassionate communication.

Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.

All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.

Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an angry person.

To do this, you can bring in nothing from the past. So the more psychology you've studied, the harder it will be to empathize. The more you know the person, the harder it will be to empathize. Diagnoses and past experiences can instantly knock you off the board. This doesn't mean denying the past. Past experiences can stimulate what's alive in this moment. But are you present to what was alive then or what the person is feeling and needing in this moment?