Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.

We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own.

The intention behind the protective use of force is to prevent injury, never to punish or to cause individuals to suffer, repent or change.

Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.

Two questions help us see why we are unlikely to get what we want by using punishment... The first question is: What do I want this person to do that's different from what he or she is currently doing? If we ask only this first question, punishment may seem effective because the threat or exercise of punitive force may well influence the person's behavior. However, with the second question, it becomes evident that punishment isn't likely to work: What do I want this person's reasons to be for doing what I'm asking?

Very often, the way love is defined, it does violence to both people. It almost makes them a slave to the other. For example, if to be in love, or to be married, it means that I'm responsible for the other person's happiness, now we get into this guilt game, where if they're upset, I'm at fault. Soon, that makes the person we are closest to about as much fun to be around as a prolonged dental appointment.

When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.